Earl Sterndale

EARL STERNDALE, PARK HALL HILL, CHROME HILL, HOLLINSCLOUGH, MOSS CARR FARM, LONGNOR AND THE QUIET WOMAN AT EARL STERNDALE

Distance: 8 miles.

Difficulty: Moderate with three strenuous climbs.

Weather: Dry, cloudy with sunny intervals.

A walkers: Colin Davison, Tom Hammonds, Alan Hart, Ben Holbrook, Alexander Welsh and Phil Welsh.

B walkers: Mickey Barrett, Chris Corps with Fergus, Tom Cunliffe, Lawrie Fairman, Matt Fairman, John Laverick and Sid Marland.

C walkers: To be added.

Apologies: Peter Beal (hiking with wife), Nigel Crank (working), George Dearsley (extended Turkish hols),Jock Rooney (Isle of Man tax exile),  Julian Ross (celebrating daughter’s birthday) , George Whaites (Spanish hols).

Leader: Davison. Diarist: Hart.

Starting point: Outside The Quiet Woman, Earl Sterndale, Derbyshire.

Starting time: 9.57am. Finishing time: 1.40pm.

According to Napoleon’s biographers, whenever a vacancy for a new general arose, his advisers would tell him of the various qualities of the candidates – their courage, strategic awareness and communication skills. In response, Napoleon would always ask: “Yes. All very well. But is he lucky ?”*

If Napoleon was choosing a leader for the Wednesday Wanderers, we fear the name of Colin Davison would not even reach the long list. Never has one man attracted so much misfortune. 

After the debacle last month of finding the Oddfellows Arms in Mellor shut, he marched us confidently into the north Derbyshire village of Longnor, which until recently boasted no fewer than four pubs.

Two of them, The Grapes Inn and the Crewe and Harpur, had both closed down. Our intended venue, The Horseshoe, was locked and up for sale. Our last hope, The Cheshire Cheese, was also closed.

Perhaps we should have feared the worst when a head count revealed we were starting with 13 walkers. This has been regarded as an unlucky number ever since JC invited 12 of his mates round for supper.

Among the 13 were two debutants, Ben Holbrook and Tom Hammonds, and two father and son partnerships. Lawrie’s son Matt is the heir to the Fairman fortune, while Xander Welsh is Phil’s son. He brought along his mate Tom for company, no doubt wishing to avoid any prolonged conversations with a bunch of sad old farts resembling the cast of Last of The Summer Wine.

We assembled in front of The Quiet Woman, which boasts the ironical sign of a lady minus her head and the advice “Soft Words Turneth Away Wrath”.  For those of you who were wondering, this would appear to be a misquote from the Old Testament, Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

We passed the pub on our left, turning left at its side and immediately right following a wooden public footpath sign for Hollinsclough. The path went through gates across various fields before swinging left sharply downhill to a road. After crossing the road (15mins) we entered a field via a wooden stile and broke up into two groups.

The A team, as they shall be called, ascended Park House Hill, reaching the peak (24mins) while the B team wimped out with a stroll around the foothills to the left and began the ascent of Chrome Hill. 

Meanwhile the A team, after watching an impressive aerial display by a flock of swifts, made the precipitous descent from Park House Hill, before following their chums up Chrome Hill.

                                                                                         Chrome Hill

We reached the summit (52mins) and descended to a convenient grassy knoll for a reunion with the B team at Pietime (63mins). It is hard to imagine that millions of years ago these craggy peaks were a coral reef upon an ocean bed, as geologists inform us.

Resuming we continued the descent of Chrome Hill, crossed a wooden stile and turned right along a concessionary path (68mins). We crossed another wooden stile (83mins) and turned left along a tarmac lane, before turning right at a wooden public footpath sign (84mins) and crossing a footbridge over the River Dove (87mins).

The Wanderers before the split 

The path brought us to a road (90mins) where we turned left, passing Hollinsclough Methodist Chapel on our left (96mins). A two mile route march along the road took us past Moss Carr Farm (105mins) on our left and a right turn along a main road (127mins) passing Longnor Fire Station on our right as we entered the village.

Since we last visited Longnor two months ago, The Horseshoe Inn has been put up for sale, freehold, with an asking price of £250,000, plus VAT. It is a Grade 2 listed two-storey stone-built building with a two-bedroomed owner’s accommodation above the bar area. As it is currently closed prior to sale, one might be forgiven for thinking that its rival, Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, would be cashing in on the opportunity: sadly not.

                                                                                       Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese, Longnor

When we arrived at 12.33pm (131mins) the pub was closed. Emotions of shock, disbelief, anger and rebellion were in the air as we stopped on the benches opposite and ate our lunch. For the next 20 minutes we watched eight other potential customers look longingly through the pub’s windows before turning away.

An alternative pub two miles away in Crowdecote was dismissed because there was no guarantee it would be open. We were obliged to save our thirsts for the return to The Quiet Woman. We retraced our footsteps for 50 yards and walked uphill to the right of The Grapes Inn, reaching a road and turning right. We then headed left uphill (136mins) to Top o’ The Edge, heading first right, then left, then right again at a wooden public footpath sign (138mins).

Derelict house. Did it start as a pot plant?

We reached a lane (154mins) and turned left. This took us through a farm, built in 1846, with a David Brown Tractor outside. To answer a query posed, your diarist can confirm that such tractors, made by David Brown and Sons of Huddersfield, formed in 1936, is the same family which bought Aston Martin for £20,500 in 1947, adding their initials DB to one of the designs.

After passing the farm, we turned right at a wooden public footpath sign for Earl Sterndale (163mins), which proved to be our third steep ascent of the day.

The path led us to the rear of The Quiet Woman, “as seen on Peak Practice and Heart of the Country,” which were two TV dramas set in north Derbyshire.

After waiting so long for a drink, most of us were pleased with the quality of the Marstons’ cask bitter, but Tom and Mickey were unimpressed, leaving their pints behind. Quite frankly I would rather see an orphanage on fire than witness beer being abandoned.

Next week’s walk will start at 9.35am from the Cock at Whaley Bridge, calling at The Swan at Kettleshulme around 12.25pm before returning to The Cock at about 2.15pm.

 *Pedants may wish to point out that Napoleon Bonaparte spoke French. I have translated his words into English for ease of understanding.